Monday Madness

Have you entered my fantabulous contest yet? NO??? GO NOW and do so!

Okay, now that you are back - on to Monday Madness! For those of you who are new here - every Monday I pick a different writer and well, out them. You know, decide what type of supernatural creature they really are...

Oh the choices! Well, I decided to be diplomatic this week and go with the first volunteer. So Elizabeth Mueller - I KNOW what you are...

Honestly, Elizabeth was kind enough to give me her email, but the truth is everything I needed was right there on her bio. Let me quote the end portion:

I don't know what my Father in Heaven has planned for me, but I have no doubt that I am destined for great things. It is my desire to be a mentor to those who dream to reach beyond themselves. If you ever need cheering, a friend, or anything at all--you can always count on me! ;)

Well, how can anyone really be this nice? This sweet? This kind? Have you guessed it yet? Come on - I know you know what she is!

An Angel

So Elizabeth - Have you saved any writers yet? We can be a stubborn lot. :)

You should really go and check out her blog. It is beautiful and chock full of great advice for writers.

Don't forget to come back on Thursday to find out the winner and read a very special writerly (I can make up words, it is my blog) fairy tale!

HOLY COW SHE"S ACTUALLY DOING A CONTEST!!

So, here's the deal. There are a few things I want to get caught up on here at Paranormal Point of View. First I want to pass along the wonderful awards I was handed several weeks ago now.

The Beautiful Blogger award goes to: Jemi Fraser

The Mommy Blogger award goes to: Susan Kaye Quinn

Now, I have been doing some voracious reading and normally, would have reviewed the books with supernatural creatures as I've done in the past. In this case, however, I just plain wanted to tell you all to go buy and read the following two books as fast as your legs will carry you: Mistwood by Leah Cypess and White Cat by Holly Black. They are unbelievably well written and will keep you on the edge of your seat wanting more. Period.

Okay. Finally, I have one more announcement. I want to do another interview. You remember the ones I've done, right? Mermaid. Demon. Werewolf.

So, who is next? Give me a suggestion and tell me why in the comments. And then, since I am going to actually give a real prize this time, become a follower (if you aren't already) and tweet/blog/yell out your front door about the contest. Those be the rules. If you tell me in the comments you've met the criteria, I will trust you. The winner (the one I pick and yes it is totally subjective since I am conducting the interview) will receive your very own copy of either of the aforementioned White Cat by Holly Black or Mistwood by Leah Cypess - your choice. Um, I guess you need to leave me a way to contact you too, email would be good.

Ah yes! And the deadline... Hmm. Lets make it Next week Weds. for comments. I'll announce the winner one week from today on my Thursday post. GOOD LUCK!!

Monday Madness

Today's author is Simon Larter! Simon, Simon, Simon. What can I say? You are... well here is your bio so everyone can see:

Flash fiction specialist, short story neophyte, poetry idiot. Aspiring novelist, discovering that the middle of your first novel is damn hard to write. Husband, father, reasonably competent cook. Tragic aesthete. A tad ornery, most days.

Don't think it says much? Then I suggest you follow his blog, because his personality is indescribable. And please know that I out him with the very best of intentions because I think he's awesome:

Simon you are obviously a DEMON! You know how to be likeable, but have that devilish streak. You even write some pretty mean poetry. So, tell us, is it hard being immortal?

Remember if you have someone (including yourself) you'd like to see featured on Monday Madness, please leave a comment letting me know! Until Thursday then..

How to Dump a Vampire

From Edward to Lestat, Dracula to Eric and Bill, sexy vampires have enthralled women (and some men) readers for years. Their brooding, intelligent, bad boys and lets face it - they're hot. What's not to love? So what if you have to give up a little O positive in exchange. Seems like a no-brainer, right?

But, what happens after the honeymoon period? When the whole powerful, undead thing gets tired? Exactly how does one tell a vampire "I just want to be friends?" To find out the reality behind the hype, I spoke to one vampire's ex. For anonymity's sake we'll call her Bella.

So, Bella, when was it you realized this relationship wasn't all you were hoping for?

Well, it was really great at first. He said I was the most beautiful girl he'd seen in almost two hundred years. Pretty good pick up line, you know? But then I started to notice little things, like he never wanted to go out with my friends, just hang out at home and sulk. And he never did the laundry. It's really hard to get blood stains out you know.

Okay, so did you confront him?

Yeah. And he went all Mr. Hyde on me, pulling out the fangs and hissing. He even punched a hole in the wall. When I started crying, he got all apologetic. Tried to tell me he was just hungry and promised he'd do better. The usual BS.

When did you realize it was BS?

I guess I always knew. But he was so hot. It's really hard not to go for the whole "you are my life, I'll kill myself if you leave me" thing. Except, then you start to think, 'yeah, but you're already dead.'

Tricky.

Yeah. So anyhow, I finally had enough when I found him glamouring my friend. He claimed he just needed a snack, but I wasn't buying it.

So how did you convince him to leave you alone?

It wasn't easy. But what I did was eat a ton of garlic and put on my mother's silver cross. So he couldn't get near me if he wanted to. Then I just told him he could do better, that I was too much of a morning person and a bunch of stuff like that. I think he was hurt, but he did finally give up.

I'm sorry you had such a bad experience, Bella. Have you dated since the breakup?

Yes. I found the man of my dreams. He's so passionate and considerate. I really think this one's going to last.

That's great. Congratulations. Have you had any problems adjusting to life with a normal guy?

Oh, he's not exactly normal. He's a shape shifter.

I'd like to thank Bella for taking the time to help others who might not know where to turn when they want out of a supernatural relationship. Remember, just because it's glamorized in books, TV, and movies doesn't mean it's all roses and unicorns in real life.

Monday Madness

Before we begin I would like to point you all to an AMAZING contest run by Tahereh. I don't usually take the time to point out these things, but not only are the prizes incredible, the contest itself is unbelievably creative. So be sure to check it out.

Today's author is Beverley BevenFlorez. Beverley has quite a bit of information about herself available on her bio (thank you Bev) but was still difficult to figure out. Some Supernatural creatures hide their identities well.

She's obviously sweet and very involved in the kidlitosphere. She blogs every Friday about the best posts of the week so has a great resource available (and I don't just point you there because she's mentioned me twice). She has an agent, she's been writing forever (well, not FOREVER but you know) and she writes YA and MG fantasy.

She's friendly, she's loyal (her husband was deployed to Iraq for quite some time and their marriage is still strong), and she's creative. But what really clinched it for me was the description of her work in progress (which btw sounds awesome and I want to read it NOW so get to work). It's about a MERMAID. Yep. Sure she's written about witches too, but she clearly belongs in the former category.

She even lives in Orange CA so she can reach the ocean if she needs to.

So, Beverley, tell us - is it hard to get around without your tail?

I'll Huff and I'll Puff and I'll Blow Out a Review

Today I want to do a review of Dreaming Anastasia by Joy Preble. But you all know me now, don't you? I can't do anything quite so boring as review the book on my own! No. So, I've invited a friend to do it for us. I'd like to turn things over to my buddy - the one, the only - Big Bad Wolf!

Thanks, Lisa. I have to tell you, it isn't easy being the bad guy. I should've hired someone for PR purposes a century ago. Everywhere I turn I've either got little kids crying, moms throwing tomatoes at me, or teenagers snickering because apparently, I come up short compared to their expectations (they all think I'm a werewolf, thank you very much Ms. Myer).

Anyhow, I say all this, not to complain, but because it certainly helped me when reading this book. The whole thing is based around this Russian folktale, see. The story of Vasilisa and the big bad witch, Baba Yaga. At first, I thought 'oh sure, they're gonna make Baba Yaga out to be some kind of monster, just cuz she likes to eat little meddling children who should be arrested for breaking and entering on her private property.' But then I realized, she's turning out to have more dimensions than I thought. So I keep reading.

I bet some of you out there are surprised I can read, right? Tell the truth! You all suck, man. Stereotypes. That's what I have to deal with on a daily basis, and what for? It's not like I ever actually catch little red or even a freakin' pig. Sheesh. I bet half you all had pig last night for dinner. Don't judge.

Sorry, I digress. The point is, at least this author understands that there's more to a bad guy than wanting to ruin the good guy's life. And for that reason alone, I give this book two out of three little pigs.

Well, thanks Big Bad Wolf. Except for the whole telling my readers they suck thing. You guys do realize of course that the wolf's opinion does not necessarily reflect my own, right? Speaking of which I want to tell you what I thought of the book.

I found the premise quite original, which is refreshing in this genre. It was a fun read and I liked learning a little about Russia, especially since I have some Russian blood myself. Not that I claim to be related to the Romanovs or anything, but it's still cool. My biggest complaint? I felt like at times there were too many POVs and time shifts to deal with. It was a little hard to keep track. I kind of wanted it to be all Ann and maybe Anastasia. Also, Anastasia's journal was really hard to read in the font they used which I found annoying, but I can't really fault Joy Preble for that. Overall, I enjoyed it. Enough that I'd be interested in the sequel that I understand is in the works.

Thank you all for "tuning in" and don't forget to come back Monday to see which fine author I take on for Monday Madness.

Monday Madness and I Win MORE Awards!

Thank you C. Lee McKenzie for this Beautiful Blogger Award and Julie Musil for this Blogger Mamma Award. I'm honored. To quote London Tipton "Yay me!" Also, since I'm shamelessly self-promoting, check out my first post on Enchanted Inkpot, up today!

Now, on to today's author. For those of you newbies out there, every Monday, I feature a different author and decide which supernatural creature he/she really is. But first I have a bone to pick with you all. Give me something good to work with in those bios people! Ahem. Sorry. Lost it there for a sec.

Anyways, this week's author is Martina Boone, cohost of the wonderful Adventures in Children's Publishing blog. If you haven't checked it out, you really should. They have gobs of useful information and it's updated like what? Twenty times a day? That was my first clue, btw. I also found out that Martina finds writing both painful and wonderful. That she can't eat until she gets her characters just right.

So, perfectionist, lots of energy and knowhow, forced by a drive beyond measure to continue her pursuit of her obsession. We all know which beings are the most obsessive. Who has been around long enough to pick up that knowhow. Who can afford to stay up all night conflicted by their ability to both love and despise something.

Martina is a vampire. I'd say it's a good thing that her compulsion to fix her characters until they are just right prevents her from eating. So, Martina, now that your secret is out - are you coming after me? Or are you more of a brooding "I'm going to only feed on animals and bloodbanks" kind of a vampire?

Caring for Your Werewolf

Is your werewolf listless? Does he refuse to howl at the moon? Does he only half-heartedly sit with his head on his paws when the neighbor's cat walks by?

If you've answered yes to any of these questions, your werewolf may be bored and there's nothing worse than a bored werewolf on a full moon. Lets face it, immortality can be tough. How many episodes of Jeopardy can you watch in a lifetime?

So what to do with a bored werwolf? Well, try putting a little spark back into his day. Here are some suggestions for activities werewolves love:

1. Hunting

Give a treat to say you care. Catch a zombie (not hard to do since they're stupid), give the zombie a thirty second head start and let your werewolf loose. Make sure there aren't any innocent bystanders too close when you do this though, or it could get messy.

2. Take him for a walk

What animal doesn't love a good walk. Make sure you put on your hiking shoes though! That terrain can be rough. Last time I did this with a werewolf I ended up with a broken arm and two bruised ribs. Oh the memories!

3. Give him a chew toy

Does he shred through normal toys too quickly? Try a garden gnome! They're made of tough stuff. Don't pick a real gnome by mistake, however. That wouldn't entertain for more than ten seconds and it would leave an awful mess.

4. Watch New Moon with him

Then give him one of those big cardboard cutouts of Edward so he can go to town.

Surely one one of these activities will be enough to break him (or her) out of this melancholy mood. Too many people adopt a werewolf thinking it's all fun and games, but the truth is they are a lot of work. You need to care for your werewolf and keep him happy. Too many are abandoned only to breed and attack at the next full moon. So be a responsible owner, please!

Monday Madness - Guess Who It Is This Time?

I've decided to pick on - uh, I mean select, the wonderful C. Lee McKenzie! And for once I had no trouble deciding which supernatural creature C. Lee really is.

According to her bio, C. Lee was born and raised in California, though moved around in state quite a bit. Then she moved out farther. Like out of the continent farther, eventually to return here, to good ole California. She quotes Dorothy and says, "There's no place like home." She says the people in her home town in Northern California really "get" her. She also loves hiking and food, among other things.

So, going on an epic adventure all around the world and ultimately ending up at home where you belong? Eating second breakfasts? Hiking? Lets see those feet, C. Lee!

It's just so obvious, isn't it? She's a HOBBIT!!

She also loves to read about them. Well, it's probably because she knows them so well, isn't it C. Lee?

Well, she's the prettiest hobbit I've ever seen anyway (sorry Frodo).