Thursday, October 7, 2010

Why Demons Don't Write

Have you ever wondered why it is you never see a book by a demon? They're clever, surely. But The real reason became crystal clear last Monday when temperatures in Southern California reached 113 degrees. Hell is hot too. And it was nearly impossible to write in that kind of heat.

Werewolves don't write because they don't have any fingers. So that kind of puts a damper on things. Paws are cute and fun, so are claws (okay debatable), but neither work well with a keyboard or even a pen.

Ogres don't write because they tend to get easily frustrated. Then they smash the computer or eat the paper and well, it's a vicious cycle.

Only good witches write. I can tell because the other writers I've met are all way too nice to be secretly evil.

Writers don't write when they are down in the "dumps." When they've received their 458th rejection. When they think their first draft was embarrassing. When they get writer's block and don't know where to go next.

Writers don't write for lots of reasons. But the difference between Writers and demons, werewolves, ogres, and evil witches is that Writers persevere. They pump up the air conditioning when it's 113 or go to Starbucks. They find voice recognition software or just wait till the fool moon is over if they lose use of their fingers (not that this has ever happened to me). They remember to be nice because we're really all in this together.

They take a deep breath, send out a new query, dive into revisions, and start writing stream of consciousness or take a walk.

Or if all else fails they eat chocolate.

But Writers keep writing.

25 comments:

  1. Lisa,
    You are so creative and hilarious! I heard about the little heat wave So Cal had been experiencing. Out here in Northern Virginia, we're freezing our tushies off and it's only October! I think that entitles us to go get a warm, yummy Starbucks beverage that will keep us writing :)

    Marissa

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  2. That is some heatwave! This post was too funny and true, no matter what writers keep writing. I'm not certain what it is that keeps us going, but we do. Maybe it is the chocolate! Great post!

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  3. I'm still chuckling. Hope the weather cools for you. It got hot and humid here (not that hot) and I just couldn't write. Even with AC, my energy got zapped.

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  4. But why don't vampires write? Oh, yeah. They're too busy sexing it up with some hot blooded hottie.

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  5. I love this post. You had me at "Hell is too hot."

    Well, I'm off to buy some more chocolate. I'm going to start querying today, and something tells me I going to need a lot of dark chocolate. :)

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  6. Marissa - LOVE pumpkin lattes! Have one for me.

    Renae - Mmm, well, chocolate sure can't hurt now can it?

    Catherine - yeah, we had like a 40 degree discrepancy from one week to the next.

    Christi - Yeah, vampires have no patience. They need to keep moving or it makes them feel dead.

    Stina - :D Best of luck with the querying!! Keep me posted. And hey - dark chocolate is supposed to be healthy for you anyway!

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  7. I like this post! Hope it gets a bit cooler out where you are. Florida is just beginning to go from stifling hot to somewhat less stifling hot, and I'm so ready for the change.

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  8. Kelly - I know what you mean! It cooled down which was great, but it's supposed to get hot again. So we'll see what happens.

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  9. The difference is ... writers persevere. Ah, you caught me! Thought this would be a light funny post, and there you go sticking something serious in the middle of it! (I love it)

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  10. You saw my rejection pile? I was trying to keep my 458th a secret, but you've outed me. Yep, we keep on writing because that's who we are. And because we love chocolate.

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  11. Julie,

    Mostly the chocolate. :D

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  12. LOL! So true. I LOVE this post! Writers write, period. I couldn't have said it better myself!

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  13. Lol, great post, Lisa! And it's given me the motivation to keep slogging through this revision, and put my fantasy casting on hold.

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  14. Lacey - we can both slog through together. I'm revising right now too. So hang in there!

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  15. Lisa, get out of my head! You know all my secret shames. As soon as I get a rejection/pass/decline, I quickly send out another query to balance the cosmos.

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  16. Leslie - but your mind is such a fun place to be! :P Good strategy!

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  17. Wasn't that crazy??? For the first time it was down there than it was here in Bako LOL

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  18. Oh, and when I was recovering from shoulder surgery and used voice recognition software, it didn't type as fast as I talked. It also didn't get what I said remotely right

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  19. Bekah - Wow! So you can really empathize with those werewolves..

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  20. Me and the werewolves are tight. They hang out in the orange groves behind my house.

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  21. Bekah - cool, even I didn't know that werewolves liked oranges.

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