Vampire ABCs

Okay - LAST CHANCE to enter my super-amazing-most fabulous contest. Time's up tomorrow. And you actually have a good shot at winning as things stand right now...

Ahem.

The paranormal audience is getting younger by the minute and so I thought, why not teach them everything they need to know early on? Say… Kindergarten? And though, I am typically a Young Adult author, I thought I would give a shot at the whole Picture Book audience. Little girls should know early on the dangers of dating vampires. So here goes –

A is for Abs, absolutely a must,

how else can a vampire earn a girl’s trust?

B is for blood, gooey and red,

all over your clothes and your shoes and the bed.

C is for coffin, a small place to sleep,

in the night if you’re near one, don’t make a peep.

D is for dead, have I mentioned that part?

You’ll never hear beating come from his heart.

E is for Exorcist, who in this case won’t work.

He isn’t possessed, just a bloodsucking jerk.

F is for fangs cause you know they are hot.

You love showing off those tiny red dots.

G is for gorgeous, remember the abs?

so beautiful you don’t care who he grabs.

H is for hollow, he’s empty inside,

You never should’ve asked him to confide.

I is for idiot, the girl that he dates,

He isn’t actually looking for an immortal mate.

J is for jugular, juicy and sweet,

he's looking at yours, can you feel the heat?

K is for kiss, which you wish he would give.

Unfortunately for you, you probably won’t live.

L is for love, which you think you are in,

when it’s probably lust, love’s closest of kin.

M is for muscle, no wait that’s wrong.

It’s werewolves’ who’s show, though both are quite strong.

N is for noble, you wish that he were.

He’s misunderstood of that you are sure.

O is for ogle, you can’t help yourself.

You wish you could put him up on your shelf.

P is for painful, but which part is it?

That he's just not that great or that you just got bit?

Q is for queen, that’s how he makes you feel,

too bad for you, it just isn’t real.

R is for ripped, oops once again-

that is werewolves, sorry my friend.

S is for sparkle out in the sun.

Okay so not all, maybe just one.

T is for terror he used to instill,

hard to find now no matter whom he might kill.

U is for undead, he’s a corpse, you recall?

Sorry for the buzz kill but come on y’all.

V is for vampire, obvious I know,

but I’ve still got four letters to go!

W is for werewolf as I’ve mentioned before,

guess that’s the sequel for those who want more.

X is for xylophone because that’s what it’s for,

not sure I could find much of anything more.

Y is for yummy, even I can’t deny,

You don’t have to jump him just cause he catches your eye.

Z is for zoo, the crowd he creates,

all the wild animals looking for dates.

SO, what do you think? Do I have a blooming career as a PB author? Or should I stick to YA? He he he.