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Yeah. I do. But it was years in the making. And guess what else? Even published authors face the R word.
It seems at every turn, writers have to deal with the word "no" or even worse.
- When you send to critique partners (even the nicest ones have to be honest or you'll never get anywhere)
- When you query
- When you go on submission
- When you face reviews
- When you start the process over again from any step above
Heck, even JK herself has to deal with all those adverbial dialogue tags she threw in. Ouch.
There are tons of posts out there on how rejection is necessary and you have to have a thick skin and even I myself say "eat chocolate!" But, I just want to take a moment to acknowledge the fact that we are human and it's okay to admit it hurts.
We all have that OUCH moment. But you know what? That's okay. Let it happen. Then move on to healthy responses like taking the criticism and working to change whatever it was. Oh and chocolate. What? Chocolate has health benefits.
I'm just saying that you have permission to feel bad for a minute. No one is going to think you are a horrible person or that you don't know what to do or any of that. It's what you do after that initial moment of weakness that counts. Don't go rant online - I promise you'll regret it. Instead... say it with me... EAT CHOCOLATE. And? If there's something you can work on to fix the issue, do it. Then try again. Because as I've also said before, that one YES makes it all worth it.
Oh, the big 'R' for an author is the norm. Hopefully it makes us better writers, and teaches us a life lesson about never giving up.
ReplyDeleteSo true there's rejection at all stages of an author's life. And it does hurt. But we pick ourselves up and move on.
ReplyDeleteI don't mind the rejections anymore. Not when there are other options. Of course if you are getting nothing but rejections, you need to figure out why before you self publish the book.
ReplyDeleteYou know JK's love for adverbs didn't bother me until I became a writer. All those rules kind of ruined her books for me. :(
The rejection really never goes away, but I think your perspective on it changes a bit. Still, you have to give yourself permission to mope (at least for a few minutes) and then get back to work! :-)
ReplyDeleteThis is SO true! Rejection from agents and editors hardens our skin and preps us for rejection from readers, too. it's a process, an incredibly public process, and we are subtly (or not so subtly) told to suck it up and pretend it doesn't devastate us. But rejection of any kind IS painful. It's good to be honest about that, if only to ourselves and our closest friends.
ReplyDeleteI like your "ouch" moment, because it's something we can acknowledge, lick our wound, and then go on. Some of my ouch moments from crit partners turned into ideas that made my stories so much richer.
ReplyDeleteOh, yes. Rejection hurts. But I do just as you say, I eat some (dark) chocolate and then keep working.
ReplyDeleteIt always surprises me that anyone thinks ranting on line is a good idea.
ReplyDeleteAgreed--being hurt by a rejection is nothing to be ashamed of, as long as we don't let those rejections deter us for good!
ReplyDeleteRejection stings, no matter where we are on our writing paths. But yes, we must nurse that ick for a little while, then move on. And each chocolate!
ReplyDeleteDoesn't red wine also have positive health benefits? It also makes a great pairing with chocolate.
ReplyDeleteSo many ouch moments. But I'm with Leslie - red wine and chocolate. And an evening to vent to my hubs. And then get on with it. Because life's too short to wallow for long in the rejection-induced negativity.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree. It's how long we let it get us down or how long we focus on it. :) Rejection is part of the industry. :)
ReplyDeleteI love the "Try again" because it keeps me sane.
ReplyDeleteI've taken a break from the writing world to deal with something different and I'm still experiencing rejection. It's everywhere!!! Gah!
Thanks for the encouraging post though. :)
Chocolate heals a lot of those ouches! If at first you don't succeed . . . . You know that saying very well and that's why you've got a book coming out.
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