Ondine: *grins* Um, well, I’m from Brugel. That’s in Eastern Europe. I like cooking, my favorite subjects are history and science and my second favorite singer is Anna Lesko And um, this is Hamish. He used to be a ferret, but he got better.
Hamish: Hellooo *waves*
Ondine: Oh, you’ve made me blush now. I’m very new to this ‘being interviewed’ business.
Colette Romano: Is this going to take long? We have work to do.
Ondine: She acts like our manager now. Col’s my great aunt and she’s all right, most of the time. Um, where was I? Oh yes, Hamish helped save the Duke’s life. Twice now. I wouldn’t be surprised if he got a medal for bravery or something.
Lisa: I've heard rumors that you're psychic. Would you read my palm for me? What does it say?
Ondine: Oh no, please, let’s not do this. Who told you I was psychic? I bet my Mum did. Jupiter’s moons she’s driving me crazy. Sure I went to psychic summercamp but it didn’t do me a lick of good.
Hamish: I’ll read yer palm if ye want me to? Och hen, yer a writer! I can tell that just by looking at ye. So creative! Ye’ve got a wonderful career ahead of ye. Everyone hanging on to every word ye say.
Ondine: *collapses in giggles* *recovers* Sorry about that. *wipes eyes* Reading palms makes me feel silly. I just say the first thing that pops into my head and people keep saying, ‘that’s so true, how did you know?’ It’s weird, you know? You’ve got a spot of dermatitis there. Put some honey on it.
Lisa: *pulls hand away*
Ondine: I don’t feel the slightest bit psychic or magical or anything.
Hamish: Aye but yer magic to me.
Ondine: *collapses into more giggles*
Lisa: What's it like spending time in a palace?
Ondine & Hamish together: The food is terrible!
Ondine: It was weird. And I can’t believe how hard I worked. I used to think working at my family’s pub was slave labor but the palace took it to a whole new level. The gardens were pretty, though. I had some nice times there.
Hamish: Aye, I’ll never forget meeting ye under the myrtle trees as the leaves were falling.
Ondine: Uuuuuuuummmm. *blushes furiously* Hamish is the best thing that ever happened to me.
Hamish: Aww lass, I love ye right back.
Ondine: And he’s brave and clever and he makes me laugh.
Hamish: Och, go on. No, seriously. I love hearing ye talk about me.
Ondine: And when he’s Shambles? Not so much fun. But sometimes he has to be a ferret, so when it happens I just count down the hours until he’s back again.
Ondine: I’m horrified and embarrassed and angry. She took my life and made it public to the whole world! There are people from Thailand to Tanzania reading about me, about us. Aunt Col said I shouldn’t read what they say in the papers –
Hamish: – aye, but they keep writing such nice things.
Ondine: Yes but, they’ve taken my life and made fun of me.
Hamish: Dinna fuss yerself, they’re laughing with us, not as us.
Ondine: I guess so. And, the books make you into a hero.
Hamish: You told me you didn’t read the books.
Ondine: Just the reviews, because they’ve all been so nice. And a few chapters of each. OK, so I read book one, but seriously, you have nothing to worry about. And for that at least, she’s done a good job because now the world knows how amazing you are.
Hamish: Naw, you’re the amazing one.
Ondine: Oh stop it.
Lisa: Ahem. What's your next adventure?
Ondine: My sister’s getting married soon, and then it’s my birthday, and I hope after that to take it easy. I’m looking forward to the Eurovision Song Contest. Go Slovakia!
Brugel’s not even in it this year. Such a shame.
Oh, and CovenCon’s coming up. That’s the annual gathering of witches and warlocks and magicians of all kind. It’s in my home town of Venzelemma, which will be exciting. Aunt Col wants Hamish and I there.
Hamish: Knowing yer auntie, she’ll put us to work.
Colette Romano: Speaking of work, are we done here? They’re needed back at the pub. The dishes won’t clean themselves you know!
Ondine: It was lovely to meet you Lisa. Oh, and watch out for werewolves.
Lisa: They’ll bite me?
Ondine: No, but they’ll give you a rash.