Do I have your attention yet? The question I want to address today is - how far is too far? Do you write YA? Read it? Do you censor yourself when you write?
I used to. When I started, I worried about that. Then I got more comfortable with the stories in my head. I realized that I put in what was true to the story and to the characters, no more and no less. And I let myself loose, knowing that I could always change it in the next pass.
That's the key. Making sure you aren't adding it just for shock value, or because you think it will sell better, or because you think that's how teens are. Teens, like adults, are individuals and they cover a wide range of types and experiences.
Well, the opposite it true as well. Did you NOT write the scene the way you know it should have happened because you were worried it was inappropriate? That's a shame in my opinion. Don't try to sensor yourself. Have faith in your readers, and be true to your vision.
You can't make everyone happy all of the time. We see that in reviews all over the place. What one person likes, another doesn't. That's fine. The right audience will find the right work for them. Don't change what you're doing because you're too concerned about offending others.
It all comes down to one thing. Write what you love, what you have to write, and what you would want to read. If you do that, there will no doubt be others out there that share your tastes and values. And your writing will come from your passion, not feel forced, censored, or otherwise beaten down.
Treat your readers with respect. Expect them to "get it" and don't try to protect them from themselves.