Interview with a Mermaid

Today I have with me my friend Shelly (her parents had a terrible sense of humor). Shelly is a mermaid. She is 17 years old and goes to school in Santa Clarita California. Since you can't see her, let me describe her for you: Shelly looks like a normal teenage girl, with pretty chocolate colored eyes and a long black pony-tail. She's wearing jeans and a sweatshirt that says "Aquarium of the Pacific."

Welcome Shelly. Can you start by telling us the most common misconception about mermaids?

Sure! You know that story the Little Mermaid? Well it causes a lot of confusion because we don't go swimming around the ocean talking to fish and crabs and wearing seashell bras. Also, I want to point out that we can all walk around on land just fine. We use magical casings to turn our tails into legs and also to change our clothes so we fit in better. The only trouble with the casings is that we don't feel too well through them. One time I accidentally stuck a fork in my thigh and everybody was all like "hey, what'd you do that for?" and "doesn't that hurt?" Well no, it didn't but it sure attracted a lot of attention.

So what do you wear when you're under water?

Oh. Well, right now what's really big are those swim tops - you know like the spandex shirts? They're great underwater and they don't bug our tails.

Can you live on land permanently?

No. Well, sort of I guess. We have to fully submerge in water at least once every twenty-four hours or we dry up like a fish. (she crinkles her nose) Most of us have a real drive to be in the water though and we prefer salt-water. So like, I'm on the diving team for example.

Do you go all the way to the ocean then every night? Santa Clarita is pretty far inland.

No. We have a house too. Most of us do. With a HUGE pool of course. Salt-water system. It's bigger than the house. But most of my friends don't notice that they just think it's pretty cool and love to come over and go swimming. No sleep overs though unfortunately.

Tell me about your underwater home. Many people have asked about that.

Sure. The big city - the one you guys call Atlantis - is off shore around Santa Monica. Though there are smaller hamlets all over. We live in one near Ventura Beach. It exists under a huge magic bubble that masks it from being seen by Normals - no offense. And there are magical wards on it so humans just kind of miss it unless they're invited. Which is rare cuz mostly they get squished if they go down too far.

Someone asked why your stuff doesn't just float away.

(She laughs) That would be because our stuff is in the magic bubble. So there's air not water in there. We are half-human you know. Not 100 percent fish. So we like to walk around and stuff too. That's why we even bother with life up here. It's way too fun out of the water too. Oh and if there's something we want to bring up or down with us our own magic protects it, so it stays dry if it's with us unless we don't want it to.

Any famous mermaids you want to out?

That wouldn't be fair of me. Let me just say that any really great swimmers you should probably look twice at. So keep an eye on those Olympic games. I'm not naming anyone in particular but there was this one American guy - well, you can probably guess.

One last question Shelly. Do mermaids get along with all Supers?

That's like asking if you get along with everyone you meet. I mean overall we're pretty genial creatures I think. But I do have to say that I have very little patience for Goblins. Sorry it's just ew, I mean they're always drooling and they look like they need a shave. Also demons, they smell bad. Sure they can cover it with perfume and that works for Normals but most of the rest of us have an enhanced sense of smell, so yeah, sorry but they reek. Oh yeah and Nymphs because they're so stuck up. Just cuz they're all gorgeous, you know?

Wow, thanks so much for volunteering to come here and answer these questions for me! Best of luck in school Shelly. If anyone else wants me to pass along a question for Shelly or has a suggestion for another interview please feel free to comment. Until Monday then...

Ghosts

Do ghosts exist?

Supers vary widely on the response to this question. I know, I know, you would think that being a shapeshifter would kind of predispose you to the idea that there are weird things out there, but that just goes to show we are all afraid of what we don't understand. Also, accepting that ghosts exists also assumes the validity that there is life after death. At least in some form or another.

Of course ghosts don't appreciate being ignored or avoided. Yes, this means they do in fact exist. Though I cannot name my source as he wishes to remain anonymous.

Are they lost souls, doomed to forever walk the path of their unrequited desires? No. Actually they are pretty much the same people they were in life, minus a body. Don't go getting too excited though. It's not all it's cracked up to be. Hardly anyone can see you, let alone communicate with you if you are a ghost. Plus forever is a long time to wait.

Have these ghosts chosen to remain behind for some unfinished purpose? Again, no. All I can tell you is that the ones I know of were not given a choice.

So, should we be afraid of them? No. Well, unless they were a person you should have been afraid of anyway like Blackbeard or something. Otherwise they're just like you and me, just trying to make the most of what they've been given.

Don't forget that this coming Thursday I will be posting an Interview with a Mermaid. So don't be shy - let me know those burning questions you have for these mysterious creatures! I've already received some good ones...

Vampires

There's no denying it. Vampires have received an enormous amount of press of late. Teenage girls (and their mothers) all fawning over the dashing and dangerous creatures. So what is the reality behind the hype? Well, here are some of the common misconceptions and truths regarding their rather mysterious aura:

Do Vampires Kill Humans? Well, yes. But not often. It is against the law after all so why deal with the grief if you don't have to? Vampires do need human blood to survive, though really only once a month or so if they use other sources. And they don't need to drain a person in order to be satisfied, but getting carried away does happen.

What Can Kill a Vampire? Stakes of course. As in the wooden ones through the heart. The other kind (spelled s-t-e-a-k) can actually help out if served rare. You can also behead them and burn the body or drain them COMPLETELY. I would not recommend any of these, however, as they are extremely dangerous and exceedingly hard to do, unless it's daytime. Sun does not kill vampires, but it does make them drowsy and drains their superhuman abilities, so they tend to avoid it.

Are Vampires All Good Looking? Well, no. The famous ones usually are. Just take a look at Hollywood. We are a shallow race and tend to idolize those that are nice to look at. Along these lines, no - vampires do not all have the same color eyes. I am not sure where this rumor began, but it is not the case. Just as hair and skin color remain the same (albeit paler pallor is inevitable) so do the eyes.

I'm sure I have missed touching on some information of interest to the public, so please feel free to post a comment and ask a question. As long as it is appropriate, I will be happy to answer or find out.

Also, I am pleased to announce that I will be posting my first interview on Paranormal Point of View! Look for Interview with a Mermaid coming a week from today. I will post a reminder along with Monday's blog. If you have any questions for mermaids. Post them here and I will consider using them in the interview.

I'll Take One of Everything!

People often ask me what is it that Supers eat? I know, some things seem fairly obvious. Vampires need blood for example. But the truth is that aside from these basic needs they can eat whatever they want. That is why Supers are so often seen dining in public restaurants.

Let's take my friend - we'll call him "Gary" for purposes of anonymity - for example. He is a goblin. He's often teased by his own kind because of his vegetarianism.

"Meat, especially raw meat, makes my stomach curdle. But, give me an avocado and hummus with extra sprouts on whole grain bread and I'll be in seventh heaven." (I'm sure you can see why Gary prefers not to be mentioned by his real name).

On the other hand, it is widely believed that faeries are overwhelmingly vegans. On the contrary, they may love and even control nature to some extent, but they also have a healthy respect for the food chain. Perhaps it is their own sometimes animalistic abandon that lends to this affinity for carnivorous choices. I know one faerie who loves to order double cheeseburgers in front of her friends while flaunting her size two body. I believe many eating disorders start this way.

So next time you are eating out or even in a supermarket, look around. Search for the tell-tale signs and don't be discouraged if he's eating a hot fudge brownie sundae, he still just might be a vampire.

Why Try to Fit In?

Most members of the paranormal community (Supers) like to try to "fit in" with humans. It's fairly simple for vampires, faeries, shape shifters and other almost human creatures to do this since they really only have to change one or two simple features (e.g., pointed ears). On the other hand, it is relatively difficult for other creatures such as ogres and true werewolves to do the same. Yet, they continue to try, sometimes to disastrous results.

Take the case of the ogre who attempted to join a high school in Torrance. When the teacher called on the new kid - obviously a football player - to answer a question about Othello he was stumped. Ogres are not the sharpest tools in the shed. Unfortunately, his response was to start chewing on the chair in front of him out of frustration and embarrassment. Sadly, it was occupied by a rather popular cheerleader.

So what is the reason for such risky trials? What could humans possibly have that would fascinate Supers? Well, aside from their general tastiness, humans are very unpredictable creatures. They are exceedingly illogical and highly emotional, which consequently makes them extremely fun to interact with.

Then there's the simple challenge involved. Think about Halloween and how much fun it is to dress up in costume and pretend to be someone you are not. Many are attracted to theater for much the same reasons. So it is for Supers. They like to pretend too. It's always more exciting to be someone you are not.

In the Beginning...

I've seen many blogs by writers. Some are so amazingly well crafted that they become intimidating. Others are people who clearly are at a loss for what to say. Still others have so much useful information that my brain could easily overload just looking at it.

This blog is not like any of these examples.

I want to do something different. Something fun. So, check in from time to time and see what's going on in the "Paranormal" community. At least the one that exists in my own imagination. Stay tuned for more.