Ban This!

I have a suspicion. Something that began as a wisp of a thought somewhere in the back of my mind. Something that's taken shape the more I think about "banned book week." You see, I believe the whole thing is part of a greater conspiracy. Those individuals that ban books (or try to) have somethings in common.

At first I tried to figure out what it was that might make a person ban a book - particularly a fantasy book (see this post on Enchanted Inkpot from Monday). Then I realized that probably wasn't it. I mean yes, sadly unicorn attacks are on the rise (we'll be discussing Unicorns V. Zombies sometime soon I promise). But that can't account for all of this foolishness. It seems like more and more people join this fight every day. On the wrong side. Yes I just said one side was wrong.

So lets take a look at the facts together shall we?

* Mindless hord mentality. No pitchforks as of yet.

* Trying to stifle creativity, imagination, knowledge, understanding and most higher brain function

* Personal needs are more important than those of others, and all must comply

* Attempting to keep others in the dark and shut down open lines of communication

* Frightened of big shiny things like ideas

* An undeniable hunger for devouring the brains of others

Okay, maybe that last one is debatable... But darn it, it fits!! Don't you see? They're ZOMBIES and they're slowly taking over. I say we check their eyes because that's how you can tell. Rotting flesh can be covered up, but the eyes will still look glassy and vacant. Though frankly, I'm not sure I would be willing to get close enough to verify this information.

So how do we stop it? Don't let them devour the brains of our children. keep those brains healthy and strong by encouraging reading of all kinds. Whatever lights that fire behind their eyes, so they don't become glassy and vacant like the others. Then THEY cannot reproduce.