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We tend to ignore characters if they make things difficult for us. We see so many vampires and werewolves because they're much sexier than mummies. We avoid the parents because we want to put our MC in danger. We're all aware of the trope - the teen MC with dead or otherwise incapacitated parents, or the uninvolved, either selfish or simply ignorant mother/father. I'm talking YA, but the truth is this is even harder to deal with in MG because of the level of independence a 12 year old has when compared to a 16 year old. So what do we do? How do we cope? We know we can't rush to the rescue, so we need some way to keep the parents out of the way. Right? Not always. Here are three possibilities that may make the characters more complex:
- The parent is part of the story in an integral and positive way. Sometimes they can play the role of guide or support. Yes, the MC needs to solve the problem herself. But we allow her friends and love interests, so why not adult interaction? Don't be afraid to give it a try, you might be surprised with what you find.
- The parent has an agenda of his/her own that whether well intentioned or not, is in some way at odds with that of the MC. So they may be around, offer guidance even, but it may not be what the MC really needs.
- The missing (whether physically or mentally) parent. I'm absolutely guilty of ditching the parents in my own work. I admit it. Sometimes it's just plain necessary. But (and here's the key I think) I TRY to make it a genuine part of the story - not just a convenience. It's important to me to make the pieces connect back to the larger puzzle. Sometimes I strike out, and I have to work even harder, but it's a worthy goal so I strive to meet it.
For me, family is almost always one of the internal issues because I think that's the way it is in real life. I'd rather include them in a disfunctional way then make them flakes. Stories that deal with parents are that much richer. I agree, it's tricky.
ReplyDeleteYes, I'm guilty of this, too--fortunately, my agent called me on it, and I ended up enhancing the role of the parent, which made the story better. In that case, the parent was generally a positive character, but there was a lot of misunderstanding that made it nice and complex. What I learned there is *sometimes* making the parent absentee is just for the convenience of the author. I think Maggie Stiefvater did a beautiful job in Shiver of making the parents absentee--and then bringing them back into the story in a genuine, logical, and powerful way that really worked.
ReplyDeleteYou know, sometimes I make the parents an integral part of the conflict. Or at least a blockade in getting around TO the conflict, if that makes any sense. And what Sarah said works too. Misunderstandings with parents really do add complexity. So does the guilt of lying to them, or the impending sense of that realization the character will have to come clean.
ReplyDeleteFor my current WIP, the parents are missing for most of the book, but that's the point of it (no, they're not kidnapped or anything). It shows the different ways a family is dealing with death of a loved one.
ReplyDeleteGood point! In my YA, I've used the trope too, but although the parents have been killed, the character uses positive memories to help them figure things out. I THINK it works :)
ReplyDeleteThis is why I loved 'The Replacement' so much. Active, involved parents who generally loved and supported the MC. I think the trend is dying, tbh. I've seen many, many agents/editors complain about the 'absent parent' issue. Couldn't agree more with you, sugar.
ReplyDeleteGreat ideas! I like the "misunderstanding" I think that happens quite often in real life. Communication issues are a huge cause of relationship problems in general, so there you go! :D
ReplyDeleteT - I just have to say I love being called "sugar"
I'm not kind to parents in my stories. I think we tend to echo the relationship we had with our own parents at that age. I like the idea of a teen character understanding and accepting the flaws of their parents.
ReplyDeleteThis is definitely a tough question that everyone writing MG or YA needs to think through. Thanks for sharing some possibilities on it, Lisa.
ReplyDeleteFor the YA I'm working on, both parents are alive and part of the story, and yet because the MC runs away (to save the family), she's still able to face the plot on her own.
However, for the next book in the series, I'll have to think deeper of how I involve the parents. :-)
This does add another layer of "how will I work this out." In real life, parents do (in most cases) play a big part in a tween/teens life, whether it's positive or negative. Hopefully as writers we can play off that reality and make our stories relatable.
ReplyDeleteIt's easier for parents to be present in MG than YA.
ReplyDeleteBut I've always been a stickler for the uh, dysfunctional family, so the parents usually are part of the strife in my MC's world.
I'm so guilty of this in my MG stories- the kids nailed me on it the other day ("Why are the moms always dead in your stories, Mom?" Ummm....). I do have parent involvement though in my YA stories! Strange, I am.
ReplyDeleteYup, I'm guilty of ditching both parents in one story (then bringing one of them mysteriously back) and ditching the dad completely in another story. My next story I'm determined to keep both parents around but with lots of frustration and conflict. Thanks for the ideas!
ReplyDeleteAnd re: your comment on my giveaway - it would be fate if you won Forever!! (alas, it's not a signed one. Notice I'm hanging onto my signed copies of Shiver and Linger :)
So many good strategies! You guys rock. I think the key here is keeping it real. Not a convenience but true to the story.
ReplyDeleteIn situations where parents are uninvolved in the story, I ALWAYS try to give a reason. For example, my character Lottie's parents are both dead (though both died of different means, not just a single car accident or building fire). My character Ria's father is dead, and her mother is uninvolved due to..."family" issues (I'd explain further, but it's important to my story).
ReplyDeleteSo I do OFTEN leave characters' parents out of the equation, but I give reasons behind it; I think that's important. Don't just write about this character that doesn't have parents: give a reason WHY they don't have parents, or why they're uninvolved in their life. And don't be afraid to go into description as to how it happened.
I love the idea of parents with their own agenda that creates more conflict for the MC.
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I'm using "The parent is part of the story in an integral and positive way" in my current novel (well, the 1st half of it anyway) *evil laugh* But yeah, I totally agree. Parents don't always have to be dead for a teen character to have independence or get into trouble. Caring, worried parents can create obstacles and inner conflict for the MC.
ReplyDeleteGreat post...
ReplyDeleteThe parents force the kid into the story line, and that’s the reason for their absence. Or the “single” parent is working two jobs to support said kid. Or the child neglects his or her parents as much as possible?
I think that I keep my parents of my characters involved in the story so that we know that they are there.
ReplyDeleteWhat about when the remaining parent is the villain? 0:)
ReplyDeleteI do wonder about this often as I read. I may have rebelled against my mom when I was a teen, but that's exactly what I was doing: rebelling. It's thus hard for me to relate to books in which there's absolutely no parental presence, because . . . even when my mom wasn't physically in my story, she was always an intrinsic part of shaping it.
I just finished Dandelion Fire, the 2nd book in a very good MG fantasy trilogy (200 Cupboards). In it and the 1st book in the trilogy, the parents are absent, but the aunt and uncle who the MC is staying with play significant roles in their place.
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't seem to me like it'd be that hard to have the parents present and involved enough-but-not-too-much in a MG book. MG-age kids will have most of their story happen while they're hanging out with their buddies, or going where their parents have told them not to, or exploring the attic/ basement/ nearby woods/ grandparent's house while the parent's aren't paying much attention, etc.
PS: Now I want to write a story with a mummy.
Also, a few months ago I read a MG fantasy where the parents were both dead and present (as ghosts). That was unique.
ReplyDeletewhoops, I meant to say 100 Cupboards (not 200). They're by N.D. Wilson. (sorry about the triple comment.)
ReplyDeleteGreat point. Of course Harry Potter was an orphan but JKR produced other adult role models. Love your blog :O)
ReplyDeleteExactly!
ReplyDeletePerhaps it's from the early fairy tales of children making their way in the big bad world.
Must admit, I very nearly wrote Ondine as an orphan, but I latched on to the idea that a large and loving family would provide plenty of conflict.
The mum is proud of Ondine for all the wrong reasons. Ma thinks Ondine is psychic. Ondine would much rather be 'the smart one'.
I did separate Ondine from her parents in book 2, but I had very, very good reasons to do so.
In another manuscript, I have three teens being sucked back in time - and they are desperate to get back to their parents. They seek help from parental figures along the way, but ultimately they find the answers to their problems from within.
Sure! Sometimes parents can get in the way of our story and we have to be clever to get around it. Great suggestions! THANKS :D Loved the one about trying to involve parents in the plot!
ReplyDeleteThose pesky parents! I'm working on this in my WIP -- I do have a conveniently workaholic mother, but I've given her a job I'm hoping will play into the plot later on. Fingers crossed!
ReplyDeleteFor me it's almost too easy or tempting to ditch the parents one way or another, but this isn't always a good idea. A parent or parents can be a great source of conflict and strife, even in "good" families.
ReplyDeleteSometimes, I read a YA and think the author got a little too creative with keeping the parents out of it.
ReplyDeleteI have one release where the MC's parents are not present whatsoever, but there's a reason for that—and I plan to actually give them some screen time later in the series.